The Label Maker

About three weeks ago (maybe it was three months, but whose really counting) Ms. Wilkes found me writing out a mailing address straight onto an envelope. Evidently neat penmanship is "out" and typed labels are "in". Today, it happened again. I was asked why I was not printing a label from the computer, at which point I rebutted with the fact that the computer dedicated for making the labels had come down with a cold (which it had) and no longer operated properly. I believe the real issue here is that my handwriting can be best compared to a third grader with MS. It's horrible.

You may be asking yourself why don’t I just A.) Fix the computer or B.) Use the one that I’m currently blogging on for my label printing needs. At first glance, the answer to the problem may appear simple, but let’s look deeper into why (3 months after the fact) I still continue to be yelled at for kicking it old school.

In production offices (as well as many other standard offices around the country) we use a Xerox Workcentre (you're guess is as good as mine as to why they try to make it sound all sophisticated, like some faux French printing press. I also hate when they do this with the word "Shoppe") Pro 232. It is an all in one fax, copier, scanner and printer. Unfortunately, due to the complexities of its inner workings (trust me, this thing jams more often than a Billy Joel cover band on Mountain Dew) it refuses to accept a sheet of labels through its fragile gears. That right there rules it out as a potential remedy to the problem.

Now then you ask, why doesn't this guy just go online and find an external label maker that doesn't rely on a computer to carry out the printing process? One answer. Would you pay two hundred dollars for a plastic 4X6 desktop machine that holds ten labels at a time? Yes, that's right. The only other remedy for printing your own labels relies on a small PLASTIC box that costs more than a new Blu-ray DVD player or a roundtrip flight to Los Angeles. There is nothing justifiable about it.

So now comes the dilemma. Do I A.) Bite the bullet and charge the damn thing onto the company card or B.) Continue to hide the fact that I am hand writing addresses (possibly doing it in the bathroom so she doesn't see). Tough, tough decision...this may be harder than the time I spent this morning grappling with whether or not to refill the water cooler or let it sit empty until tomorrow. You know what. This isn't MY Amex. It seems to really be eeking her to no end. Ordered. Charged. Expedited shipping. Gift wrap...yes.